Thursday, July 29, 2010


Let me tell you a story you're probably not interested in knowing.

When I was younger, and Oreos had just been released into the market by the corporation we know as Kraft-- I had the biggest crush on these babies. It was surreal-- it was just plain unnatural.

At first bite, it really lit up my eyes. The sweet surge of chocolatey sugary goodness would blow open my eyelids! Mind you, the taste wasn't exactly chocolate. It was a mix of tastes-- between a wafer biscuit and dark chocolate. What more could I have wanted!

Then came the cream! Well.. I don't particularly like the cream bits. It's kinda gross-- the way it's so soft... and.. mushy. It had some texture, I guess.. grainy-- also with sugar I believe. Not really quite milky for me to puke, but milky enough for me to stay away from it exclusively.

But the chocolate biscuit always saves the day.
I could never eat the biscuit without the cream, nor could I eat the cream without the biscuit. These 2 were meant to be, and never to be far apart. EVER.

I would guard them Oreos like it were SO expensive. My goodness. The moment I had any money to buy some on my own, I'd put them in my room. Not the kitchen-- in my room. We had strict rules in the house, you see. No food allowed anywhere else other than the kitchen. My mother was anal like that.

And the most devastating thing that could happen to my Oreos was not that it was finished.. but if it went soft. OH THE HORROR. Imagine one whole day of crappy school, to go back into the confines of your boudoir, turning to that one thing that makes you gleefully joyfully irresistably happy.... only to bite into an air filled cookie. UGH, limp cookies! I hated that feeling!!!

Every bite was not a bite. I would NEVER bite into an Oreo. I only nibble my Oreos. So that it would last longer hahaha.

This is why I could never understand how some people would play games with Oreos! :(
They'd see how many Oreos they can stuff in their mouths! Why?! I don't get it!

I think the part I can't stand is when I hear the cookie break against the edge of their tooths. It cracks and crumbles like marble during an earthquake. And as they choke in disbelief as to how small their mouths are *rolls eyes*, crumbs and morsels of chocolate fly out of their disgusting mouths on to the floor!!!! /upset

Ok too drama.

Nevertheless it's a stupid activity to see how many things you can fit into your mouth. It's all fun and games until someone chokes and DIES.

Ah, so that's my crush story about Oreos.
Now I don't eat them at all because corporations like Kraft really only want to poison people for a profit. No, seriously. Don't eat Kraft's single sliced cheese. It's not really cheese-- it's gross. 

But I'll always have fond memories of Oreos :)


Anonymous said...


Joanne, Zuo-en said...

limp cookies. hahahahahaha!!!

Joanne, Zuo-en said...
This comment has been removed by the author.