Cake or Death?

if life were as sweet as it was made out to be

everyone should have diabetes.

but people have high blood pressure, high colesterol, cancer, cholera, etc.

so i guess life isn't just only sweet, it's dangerous, bitter, fatty, incoherent and lastly, shitty.

oh le sigh.

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what happened to my joy and what happened to my simple pleasures.

i've grown to be complicated and complex that i've forgotten to just live and let live.

everything i want and i seemingly need, seems to be .. expensive. or.. unaffordable. or too ideal. is there such a thing as too ideal, even?

i'm a girl.

not really a woman.

so i guess young lady.

sometimes i feel i deserve more than just a fleeting image.

more than just a maybe, and definitely more than just an idea.

i need concrete, solid evidence, like a psychological study needs samples.

but a feeling is just a feeling. reality is reality.

and it is more likely and truthful that i DON'T deserve anything i feel i deserve.

because i'm saved by grace and mercy, not by right or allocation.

MERCY.

that's a word i need to digest and need to have

GRACE.

that's a word i need to practice and need to show.

i've slidden so far back :(