Monday, January 04, 2010

Go! and Conquer.

Do you wonder what it means to "be yourself" ?

This phrase often comes in times of venturing into the unknown (usually alone), and is meant to give us confidence. After all, who knows you better than you do? So technically, being yourself should be no problem since it is the most familiar thing you'd know.


I would beg to differ.

What does "be yourself" mean, really?
Because I have many selves. Don't you?

With my family, I am often grouchy, most unflattering, sometimes rude, and mostly feel like I'm on duty. Whether it is to be a daughter, a sister, a grand daughter, a niece or a cousin. Of course, I am also most honest, obedient, unafraid and secure.

With my friends, I am confident, self-aware, caring (or try my best to be), sometimes sarcastic, a story teller, and maybe even an entertainer. I am mostly guarded, but within certain circles I am also honest and a potty-mouth. But I am always polite and try my best to not offend anyone. I may not necessarily always feel secure (ah the wonders of a big mouth), but I can freely know that I am, to some certain extent; understood, loved and thought of.

With my boyfriend, I am vulnerable, sometimes clingy, flirty but also (at times) motherly. I sometimes can be strong, and sometimes am weak. I am daringly honest, not afraid to speak the truth and can also be a big bitch (when it is the time of the month hehehe). I can be comfortable feeling secure, inhibited, hesitant, passionate, happy, disgruntled and even be shocked all with the same person.

When I am alone, I have no expression, I make unflattering body sounds (hahaha), can't care less about how I look, say what I think, feel what I say, let it all hang loose, have no inhibitions what-so-ever, and quite frankly, am a totally different person all together!

I am a plethora of selves, so what do people mean when they tell me to "be myself"?? I might internally combust! It makes no sense to be myself because there is no one specific self.

So from now on, the right thing to say to someone before they embark on an ambiguous journey, or give assurance, or wish them luck, or send them parting words, or simply tell them this before they walk in for an interview... just say, "GO! AND CONQUER!"

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