Thursday, October 31, 2013

Hello? Is it me you're looking for?

It's October 31st today, and visiting this page every two months or so reminds me that I used to be very expressive and observant. Now? I'm just so blasé, and I let everything roll off my back because I believe that anything that's important enough will jump out severe enough.

Anyhow. Last post was in January, and I guess 10 months later here I am reporting (observing?) that I feel exactly the same. Not anywhere more hopeful, more accomplished or more happy. Just.. am. Is this bad?

Thought that's not saying that I didn't have great times in the past 10 months. There were plenty! But equal amounts of heartbreak too. So I cannot say that 2013 has been the awesome year that I wanted it to be


I'm beginning to accept that my world view is in drastic need of changing, but in so many ways I'm unable to let go of my idealism, what I've come to expect and what I've grown up expecting. To me, life doesn't need to be so hard, but every body around me seems to think that it is, and that it should be.

Everybody hating on the GenY mentalism, when really-- who gives a shit? Not me.

I'm a loud, proud GenY typical, and I'm not ashamed to expect what I expect and want what I want. But I'm also beginning to accept that this behaviour won't get you anywhere (much) in the world and so when it all boils down to the nitty gritty, you still got to get your hands dirty, work your butt off and NIKE.

I just need to do it my way, you know?

I don't want to have anybody tell me how to live my life, how to do things "better" or "faster" or "more efficient" because God forbid that it takes longer to internalise something that I have to live with forever! *rolls eyes*

I've been through enough tough times ON MY FUCKING OWN to know that I can do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. I have gone hungry for months on end without dying, I have gone with inverted sleep patterns for years without "screwing up" my circadian rhythm, and I have gone through enough heartbreaks before and after marriage without losing faith in hope or restoration.

So yes, from ALL these years of being independent, figuring out my own problems without having anyone tell me to do it their way, I have been abso-fucking-lutely fine.

So why won't people get off my case?

Oh yea, because I'm Gen Y.


stardust11 said...

Now,I'm looking!!

this girl said...

Was it all you wanted to find? :)