This Cat

There's a definite pendulum effect when it comes to my affection for Dippy.

I hate her but I love her.

I love her because she's fucking cute. I mean that face could really melt anyone's heart, and that bitch is a master manipulator. She can cuddle and nuzzle against you as if she really loves you so that you'll give her anything she wants, but once she gets it, you're nobody to her.

That brings me to why I hate her.

Because she's fucking cute and is a master manipulator! Also, she leaves her fur everywhere and is such a smelly poopy cat. Also, when she's upset, she's so destructive. She's vindicating and can hold a grudge longer than my mother can.

But this face.

Sigh

The Kind of Girl You Are

I never cease to be amazed by the myriad of people that live on this earth.

Some are athletic, some are philosophers, some are brilliant. Some are kind, some are gentle and some are creative! It makes me think on the kind of person I am as a whole, and the kind of girl I am. What do others think I am?

I recently came across a girl's Facebook profile. I notice she's a simple person, who loves travelling and the great outdoors. She cycles for fun, treks hills for pleasure and travels on a serious budget to maximise her time in a country.

Sometimes I mutter to myself, "Wow, she's so simple!". And this is in a very judgey way (I'm terrible, I know), but at the same time I'm also quite ashamed to admit that I'd never be able to do what she's doing. Hack it out in the wild like that. Travel by bicycle. Live in trailers. Wear very functional clothes (ie not stylish).

So what kind of girl am I?

I like travelling in comfort-- I'd never explore the wild on a bike for sure.
I like sleeping in a nice hotel-- I'd never live in a trailer park with minimal bathing faciliries!
I like buying clothes FOR travelling-- I'd never be caught wearing that!
I like eating out at local food places in the country I'm in-- I'd never cook basic pasta with broth just to save money

With this, I conclude I am a diva.

Of course, these confessions are hard to hear. I'd hate meeting me on a holiday trip...

BUT I WILL NOT BE MOVED!

I will not be pressured into thinking that travelling humbly is the best way to travel. In fact, the best way to travel is in comfort. And if I can afford it, in STYLE! What girl yearns to travel dirtily and minimally?

The only minimal thing I'd want to travel with is luggage! So that I can buy more things at my travel destination to bring home!

Why shouldn't I strive to achieve the little luxuries in life? I mean, at this point in time, I'm not even insisting travelling first class to my holiday destinations, or staying in giant mansions with servants waiting on me (Not that I can afford it, haha).

But anyway, I've digressed.

What started out as a post on self reflection, supposedly aimed to teaching me a lesson on humility has only turned on itself. I am now even more determined to have greater capacity to travel and live on as little financial restraints, and in MORE frivolous luxury.

Judge away, hehe.

2014

Aaaaaaaaaand whaddya know, it's the end of the year.

I try to make it a point to write at the end and beginning of every year. It's not been easy keeping up this casual writing thing.

In a nutshell, the year has been equally weighted with victories and failures. I think that there were more victories (in terms of frequency?), but the failures this year really hit me hard. That being said, I feel 2014 has been a great year nonetheless :) Objectively, definitely a good year compared to past recent ones.

I never take failure in good stride anyhow.

I'd usually make a list for new year's resolutions, knowing fully that the list isn't going to be honoured, of course. But making a list just somehow completes the experience, y'know?

However, this year I won't.

Instead, I want to hope and dream for bigger and better things to come in 2015. Dreams and hopes that I dare not put down (I don't take failure well, remember?), but assuredly I'll let you know if they do happen.

So here's to an EVEN BETTER year ahead.

God has been faithful, and I know that my life is in His hands.

You're Unfunny

This is how I truly feel about your jokes, boss!

Come Sail Your Ships Around Me

He's been working hard for the money

Home in Another City

Nobody is truly a global citizen (glocal?) until they've stepped out of their home country and explored the big wide world outside.

I'm both lucky and blessed to have been able to study abroad for a period of time. Even if it was a short one. The experience has opened my eyes to so many new things, made me think differently about the world, about people, about values, about myself and also about God.

One of my goals in life is to be a local in a different city.

At present, I know all the good stuff about KL. Like where to get the cheapest food, the best buys, the most expensive wine, the best places to chill, and whatever else you might fancy. Slummiest neighbourhood? I know it. Upscale expatriate areas? I got it.

But I'd like to be know another city the way I know KL too.

I love it when I return to London/Nottingham and I know which line on the tube to take, where the best restaurants are (for my budget), and exactly where to head in Primark to get my basics. I also know which road to take to get to where I want. But alas, it's just so far away, and the exchange rate is too high to justify me going there every other year.

I love it when I go back to the Gold Coast, I know what I want to eat, and that I even have certain cravings for certain foods at certain places. I like how the culture isn't too far from mine and yet it couldn't be any more different. I like that I can count on the city to provide me what I want when I go there, and not feel like a total tourist.

And the best part, there's always so much more to discover and so much more to remember.

But I've not always felt this way. I felt a funny sense of betrayal for getting comfortable in another place. For almost calling it home. As if my original home would no longer be home if I accepted that my new place is home. It's all the mind anyhow. I could feel like this even in KL.

Whether it's my marital home, my church, my regular stalls, my workplace, my seat on the lunch table.

I don't really have a point. All I really want is to be truly comfortable being in another city-- calling it home/second home or mine.

I find extreme satisfaction in that.


xx

Death Becomes She

This is how I'll always remember Meryll Streep

I can only wish that I'd age half as gracefully as she does one day

Much Ado About Nothing

Last time I dyed my hair was some time in October 2013! It was a lovely dark colour, with hints of iridescent purple. Now it's all orangey :(

Speaking of hair, mine takes so long to grow!

In life, if you can't be straightforward, you'll be very unhappy.

I love holidays. Holidays sometimes brings out the worst in people, but really, if you have your heart and mind in the right place, it should bring out the BEST in you!

I never have to worry about knowing if I lost or put on weight. People around me are like fat-o-meters. They tell me if I have or haven't.

Water is the source of life. So why do I hate drinking it so much?!

Breakfasts should always be savoury. I feel sweet breakfasts aren't going to fuel you very well. If at all.

I yearn for a life in another place, but I'm beginning to feel that actually, I only want life back in the UK. Picky, picky.

I can't wait to have babies. My ovaries have been singing loudly for almost 5 months now!

It's May tomorrow. How crazy is that! The year literally whizzes by too quickly to catch. Yet, everyday is slow and insufferable. Well... some days. Not everyday.

I can't stand people who find creative ways to free load off your "convenience". Like seriously, get your own car, get your own food, and get your own life!

I also can't stand Christians who cannot see things rationally. Being rational isn't about being rationalised. It's two different things.

There are lots of things I can't stand. I could make a whole new post about the things I can't stand. But then I'll just look like a bitter woman. Which I can't stand. HAHA.

There are all sorts of people in this world. There are good ones, bad ones, funny ones and serious ones. But the worst kinds are the ungrateful and unkind ones.

Stars shining bright above you, night breezes seem to whisper, I love you. Birds singin' in the sycamore tree, dream a little dream of me

I miss my brother. Good thing he's coming back in 2 days!

Why Should I Be Saved?

1 Timothy 1:15-16

Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.

***************

Who am I?

That the eyes that see my sin, would look on me with love...

Watching for Time

A watch often symbolises class, taste and is a symbol of wealth. A great looking watch framing a man's wrist and sleeve often makes or breaks his first impression.

When I see someone wearing a watch, a few things come to mind. I think, this person is organised, punctual, traditional, and has great work ethic. 

Why?

I don't know, perhaps because everyone I know who possess all those great qualities.... well, they wear watches. And I'm not one to boast (or even admit) that I have any of the qualities above, and I've never been one to wear a watch anyway. For various reasons-- I can look for time at the bottom right side of my computer screen, my hand phone has a clock on it, and so does my car. I am never in need of a watch!

But still, having a watch strapped on to my wrist serves as a reminder that I need to be mindful of time. And that I need to be punctual because I should never go back on my word when agreeing to meet someone somewhere at a specific time. 

But most of all it reminds me to aspire to be more organised, punctual, traditional and have great work ethic. I may be struggling to fulfill one (or all) of the criteria, but at least an aspirational reminder is useful to bring me on that first step towards achieving my goal.

D bought me a watch two Christmasses ago. And to me, it gives me silent assurance that he too, believes that I could be organised, punctual, traditional and have great work ethic. Even though he has NO IDEA that I feel this way about people who wear watches. So it's a total one-way feeling, but it doesn't matter. 

So thank you, D :) For imaginarily spurring me on to be a better version of myself.

Missing flight MH370

"I am counting on the Lord ; yes, I am counting on him. I have put my hope in his word"

People's lives are not meant to be toyed with. Only God has the power to bring you to heaven or throw you in hell.

Heartfelt prayers and sincere hope for anyone and everyone involved in the missing flight.

Lord when we know not what to do, we fix our eyes on you.

It's Finally Friday!

Crazy long week, with a crazy busy few weeks leading up to this busy one!

So much more to do, but I'm glad it's the weekend and that I get to take a breather to recharge a little.

So here is an obnoxious picture of myself, heavily edited to make myself lok more pretty. Oh and I even slimmed my round face too, can you tell??

Happy Friday friends!!

Xx

Fake It till You Make It

Being a Malaysian, we get the best of multi-cultural highlights.
But as the Lunar New Year draws nearer, unfortunately I am reminded of the not-so-nice side of our Chinese culture of "wanting face" or "saving face", showing off, always wanting to one-up the other person, and yet through all this-- complain that your life is terrible, and woe is you, so definitely.

EVEN SO!

There are way more highlights during the Lunar New Year like being with family, great (I mean hella great) food, time-off work, and typically most people return to their parents home town (likely a small town)so the environment is super chilled and the people are generally nicer than in Kuala Lumpur. Best part? To watch family drama LIVE.

This year I'm spending it with my in-laws again, as is the tradition after a girl marries. But I don't mind. I like my in-laws... heck I love them! They're mostly nice and only some make a big fuss about little things, but you have to expect a standard deviation everywhere you go :)

And one of my favourite parts of the Lunar New Year is the "Loh Sang". I don't enjoy eating it, but I enjoy the ruckus everybody makes while tossing this Asian salad. Good wishes all round for everyone at the table! The higher you toss, the more likely your wishes come true. Oh yes.

But you don't just make wishes! These wishes have to be condensed to four words. Four poetic words. And so being a 4th generation Chinese in Malaysia, without having any formal Chinese education (and totally unable to carry a conversation in mandarin) I've come to learn from experience that it's not really THAT important for others to know WHAT you say. It's merely important for people to hear HOW you say it.

So here's a list of 4-word Chinese phrases for you to blurt out during Lou Yee Sang v2014:

1. Lou ah lou ah! (Toss! Toss!)
2. Lou kou kou ah! (Toss higher!)
3. Fai fai sang zhai! (To have sons quickly!)
4. Pou pou koh seng! (To advance in career)
5. San tai keen hong! (To have good health)

These first 5 are legit phrases that people would say around the table while tossing the salad. They're all round good wishes for yourself and for others. However there are a host of other words that I have absolutely no clue about! So for the mischievous, here are my personal favourites:

1. Siu zheh mai tan (Miss, bill please!)
2. Kuey teow moi hum (Noodles, no cockles please)
3. Mou zhou so zhai (Don't be a stupid boy)
4. Sek tou fei fei (Eat until you're fat)
5. Kai fan siew yok! (Chicken rice with roast pork)

Happy Chinese New Year to all who celebrate!

Highlights of 2013

2013 was a tumultuous year for me. But I choose to focus on the good, rather than the bad!
Highlights of the year that was:

Jan/Feb: Chinese New Year as a Poon!

It was my first CNY as an in-law to my in-laws. I was nervous at first, but I have been to D's grandmother's home so it wasn't totally unfamiliar. I was actually quite surprised and happy to be so accepted by everyone there. I mean, I'm the stranger, hey. But instead of keeping an arms length, and probe into my private life, everybody kept offering food (cultural sign of being friendly and accepting) and was happy all round

July: The Hunnymoon!

In Nice

Finally, after a year of waiting and being patient and storing money for this trip! It finally happened and I'm so glad it did. It will remain one of the BEST adventures of my life because we planned it all, we went everywhere we wanted to, in the time that we wanted to, ate anything we wanted to, and had such a great time!

October: D's Birthday Surprise

Booked us a trip to Bangkok for the weekend and treated D to a holiday in the city :) All day food, massage, shopping and night-time luxury in the crazy awesome Muse Hotel on Langsuan Road :) I wish we had enough spare cash to do this every quarter haha!




Haaaaaaaaaah.
Here's to an even more awesome 2014!

Best Baby Names Ever

No, not preggers.

But D and I have been thinking of baby names.. Only so we're not so stressed out when we have a 9-month countdown in time to come.

I like that we're both more open to discussing a little person in our future.

I'm also glad that I'm not so freaked out by the notion anymore! Before this, even the thought of conceiving gave me such negative feelings. I don't think that'd be the ideal feeling to have when I find out I'm bloated with a parasite haha :)

So we picked out a name for a girl and boy.
No not telling.
Just in case someone steals it *shifty eyes*

D likes masculine names-- strong names for his boy. And I like meaningful names, geared toward the feminine side of a man. No nothing like Louie or Jamie or Ashley, I reckon. But yes we've settled on one and we're both happy with it!

So for the girl, I decided against going for the girl version of her dad's name. You know... those typical "You are named Allena because your father's name is Allen". Or "Julianna to Julian", that type of thing. And I wanted something very girly, not overly unique (growing up with the name Keshia has brought me no harm, but not one teacher in school could pronounce my name correctly!), and definitely not a name with an "alternative" spelling (ie: Ashlee, Jassyka, Mishell). And we decided on a very simple and girly name :) Very happy.

Well... I initially wanted Lulu, but D said it was too weird, so I named my ukelele Lulu instead :(

Anyhow!
No babies coming soon. Not even if I wanted it. We still haven't got our lives settled yet and I sure don't want to be living in my current home when I usher in my kid. It's too small and inconducive. House hunting is great fun, but there's not one place I really want to live in (within my budget of course) that can provide a good yield and ROI.

But that's an entirely different subject matter!

xx

Life Training

I can't even begin to pin point the level of noobness in some people I know.

I mean, there are just certain things in life that you don't express, or don't do.

Like humble bragging, or taking a big ass selfie and putting a totally useless/unrelated caption.

I cannot even count the number of girls I have on my facebook timeline who take pictures of themselves in various poses and smiles with a strange unrelated caption.

Why? WHY?!

It's December

How quickly time flies! It's like, one moment I'm wishing and hoping for a great year, and the next, it's already year end D:

I love and hate year ends. It reminds me of the things that I didn't get to accomplish, the things that I wish happened differently, and that I want diligent in what I set out to do. D doesn't believe in new years resolution.. because I guess it makes you sad at the end of the year?

But.. the great end makes me happy because it's Christmas time. Ask that happiness and cheer really gets me going! The decorations, the food, the smells, the gifts, the songs, argh so much about Christmas makes me happy! It reminds me that this day designated was the beginning of all that Christ had done for me. That God had chosen this blessed day to send His one and only son to redeem the world. To redeem me.

The year end also encourages me to do better next year. It reminds me that I'm definitely imperfect but there's always a new beginning (God willing) to start afresh. Like every new year, and every new day, His mercies are new and forgiving.

So have a great final month, everyone.

Here's a picture of my two furkids looking out into the promising future.

TMI Tuesday

There's nothing better than being clean,  wearing new panties, and snuggling up in a thick blanket.

All the comfort I need.

I'm grateful :)

WHY?

Everybody's favourite question.

But my favourite is "What If".
It brings me pleasure and sadness, wonder and guilt.

What if.

Fortunate

Just yesterday I felt super shaky for some reason. As if I was experiencing a major electrocution for long periods.

Anyway it turns out my body was shaking from the lack of sugar in my system a.k.a. HUNGRY.

When I asked D, "You know that feeling you get when you're so so hungry, but your mind doesn't tell you you're hungry, so your body just shakes with need?" to which he replied, "No.. never. First world problem right here"

Got me thinking-- we're so fortunate.
Everyday we complain that we're eating the same thing, or that what we eat is not yummy.

Gosh, our bodies haven't even experienced extreme hunger before! So I wonder why we're complaining about the little insignificant things?

We're never satisfied-- always wanting more. So greedy.

So I guess I'm happy that my body shakes with hunger every once in a while. It helps me remember how fortunate I am to have food on the table!

Speaking of food, what I'm totally dying for right now? Like, RIGHT NOW??

Creamy Shrimp Asparagus Pasta

Avocado Chicken Salad Sandwich

Chickpea Salad with Olives, Peppers and Parsley

OH GOSH KILL ME NAO!